Login or Register Now   Email:  Password:   

Efnet #PHP Quotes

When not coding and writing tutorials, a good place to hang out is Efnet #php. This is where some reknown php devs and authors like to give of their free time to help the PHP community. This is some of the wisdom and good wishes expressed for their efforts, along with some of the witty reparte.

<flip_> wow this channel is like failzor
<sexyJ> what does the @ in front of a function mean?
<demonii> it's an email address
<prada> it didnt work.. i think this is a bug
<OnoSendi> Shai-Tan: I understand programming very well. I know mIRC script
<Kasya> function md10($str) { return md5(md5($str)); }
<nowimprov> i'm still trying to ask heaika what one minus zero is
gahd\net> i dont need security.
<@Rasmus> The Windows kids install the XAMP thing or whatever it is called
<litw> I am not using tags <litw> this is HTML
<picasso> web devs dont understand things like variable scope
<RcRaCk> because everytime i get a 404 page it gives an error
<prometh> you guys are fucking dickheads.
<DJ^Dan> yes _$POST... meh...
<diabolic> bunch of fuckheads
<Mrgoose> anyone here get facials?
<Agamemnus> who is rasmus?
<roasten> why should I want to use DOM when php can do it ?
<badsign> fucking douchebags
* badsign has quit (Leaving)
<context> you people need help
<jedimind> my cousin was diagnosed w/ schizophrenia
<Biber> so you have more cousins now?
<cheerio> i think id be much more likely to engage in sheep sex than male sex
<ebbtepid> i have $x = 2400000000; but i want to divide by 100, so i do $y = $x/100; the problem is that this comes out as 2.4E+6 ... why cant php divide big numbers?
<caution> will strtolower(ucfirst($str)) work?
<caution> cuz I tried it and it's just printing it all lowercase
+<impl> % cat /proc/meminfo| grep 'MemTotal' | awk '{ print $2 / 1024; }'
<Legg> i'm surprised someone from croyden knows what php is
<Cviper> is there a php command for refresh? f5
<rhelic> I'm a DBA, I have't ran into a need to index yet
<bluWater> someone like me who's a world renowned developer in many languages takes heat for dumbshits like you
<deleet> wtf is a biro
<mo]{44> you all are assholes
<Byzia> fopen('https://www.paypal.com/account/stats.xml?user=byziajl@earthlink.net&pass=wolfh0wl');
<Byzia> err... oops
<thrilla> oh wow, silverlight apps are actually text files
[Two9A] ippo: What do these 500 columns contain?
[ippo] HTML
<NinjaSpac> you guys are fucking useless
<ndgophone> i love you gays
<GooseWork> i just bought an ipod!!
<GooseWork> i bought it from a deaf guy surprisingly
<GooseWork> he got it for christmas
<erf> One of my php scripts has failed for no reason
<whycome> you are people fucking retarded
<c0m> WHY CAN'T PEOPLE TRY FUCKING PROIm PERLY
<c0m> *type
<B3N> gosh.. the mentality of this chan..
<Shai_Tan> how many bytes in 20 meg
<gamed00d> 1048576
<_Skudd> 0 % 5 != 0
<EvilAIM> anyone know why a .php can exec, but a .phps just shows the source?
<jazzi> Fuck you all
<bigLanky> what do i name the .htaccess ?
<Craxors> CGI is more secure.
<_cS> why in the hell would i lie on irc
<sarbo> worst. channel. ever.
<O10xzz> ... that's usually acceptable, as most security problems are
alright by default.
<Tetu> what is the advantage of using php over html ?
<theGZA> Anal Full Nelson 5 (2007) (2 CD)
<theGZA> oops
daradu> thanks for your tipp with rent-a-coder ... their prices are incredible
<rdehler> you guys are worthless
<WhiteWolf>most php programmers are cunts then
<kurtis> Is there anyway to cycle my IDs in mysql so that way they will
all be put at the lowest number possible? (since I've been erasing some)
<poste9> kurtis TRUNCATE TABLE table_name
<kurtis> poste.... you just erased my table ;(
<krupa^> hello all! amm, any idea how can i mail() with css?
<Ctech_mbp> apathy-: So that will leave just the <br></br>
<Mishu> I am doing exec("http://someip:13013/cgi-bin/sendsms?username=abc&password=abc&to=14047881723&text=Test")
<Smong>you guys are pathetic
<feti>EGreg_: i just barfed up my hotdog after reading your code.
<Trancer>with 8 pints everything with a vagina is attractive
HOOOOOooo>Is phpmyadmin = PostgreSQL?
<sharkmitr>is php as good as html?
<sharkmitr>html allows animated gifs which i feel makes it far superior to PHP
<form action="/usr/sbin/sendmail" method="post" name="pricing" id="pricing">
<Perfekt> u people are jerks
<m308> 968 is not greater then or equal to 679
sparkie you all suck.
<sparkies> fucking lusers
<Neeon> fopen($_GET['file'], 'r');
<XB23> i stored loads of values in md5 now i wanna put them as plain text but they wont decrypt
<_cheerio> i hate you guys
<xptovar> Rejected but md5 can be decrypted
<AMrck> Will i need to upgrade PHP to run web 2.0?
<VaxoP>i dont know what 'username' means
<jon1>there shouldn't be anything wrong with the syntax, i grabed it from a sitepoint tutorial.
<t0pP8uZz> is this "$var !> 10" vaid syntax, and means it IS NOT over 10?
<t0pP8uZz> hey guys how can i create a sql table named to the users ip address
<Macca>who's eric meyer
< imbroken> im sorry guys, but in someway you guys making a fool of me helped me figure it out
< runopen> shadda: what is an httpd anyway?
<VictorCL_> ascii? what do you mean
<freebasic> I'm gonna go learn PERL, fuck you
<Macca>risc ?
<Kitt0s> fags
<bobby---> useless cunts.
<animo>manual?
<icnocop> is HURD the most popular linux?
<demonic_> header("<style type='text/css'> p {color: red; font-size: 24; } </style>");
<Dev|anT> header("Location: javascript: history.go(-1)");
< dazed> does php support any other encrption methods like base64?
<`Robert> cummed so much it went through my tissues...
<`Robert> oops wrong chan..
<Jmax> how do i declare a variable as lexical?
< ogog> will variables work in dos?
<@Droll> erf: That's because americans don't help.. they 'liberate'
<|_Borg_|> good grief. u coders are all selfless asses I swear.
<Sugi-lapt> its amazing. i swear for whatever reason programmers are the most childish people ive EVER met
<applexdro> how do you center PHP echo statements
<spooof> how big is a big .php file?
< poppabear> ssh is a java applet
<newport75> strings are so much easier in java
<cssmotion> im smart, lol, i know php
<Riddler_ >Does anyone know if I can convery HTML to an image?
<temp1>Yahoo innovates
<sp0n9e>triggers in php5 aren't complete (yet)
<slacker_ vas:> and fuck you, by the way
<FFForever> that sql deleted EVERYTHING!, factor
<sparkies> fucking lusers
<BramuS> any one knows how to enable posix on linux?
<Tritian> is there an easy way to convert a decimal into a percentage.
< Narsissis> why dose everyone have tosay that cant ispell
<+rza> whats wrong with fucking a transvestite?
<PenguinZ> how do I disable fatal errors?
<DJ_HaMsTa> phpinfo(); <-- is that a dos command ?
<matstars> i would love to use PHP
<matstars> but im already using a submit button
<dany111> i learned php and sql in 2 weeks and now made my website with cpanel
<kappa> is it just me or is php.net changed to spanish? <------ topic
<erf> We can add "Sports" to the list of things swedes cant do
<illu> why is it important that i use these standards in developing professional technology
<kappa> is it just me or is php.net changed to spanish?
< RobertW-> brb tornado
<InkLaptop> Shai_Tan: what advantage does Opera have over pgsql?
<Jimbn> -rwxrwxrwx <--- how do i get it to be drwx..etc
<Ipnr2>thats a shame..php-nuke looks great to me
<Macca>700mb == how many MB?
<Shai_Tan> Genia4: Alan Cox?
<Genia4> who's he?
<Cadesius> this chn was really NOT helpfull...
<DekaPatro> i'm not a dickhead i'm just desperate for php help
<kmg> you guys it's not the crusades, ok
<moos> when fopening a file, how do i get the name of the file?
<thun> im pretty good with google..
<Vincey> is IE really picky about html?
<KD-OG> is there a php center function for output?
<crocough> i dont like the idea of having half baked program running on windows server
<spx2> you guys here seem friendly
< stan--> thanks jome, fuck you all, the rest.
<sp0n9e> $25 * 1.5 = 62.50 last time i checked
<putopaul> A BIG SCREW U TO ANYONE WHO CALLED MY DUMB
<ashraf_zi> hello wat the hell is happening ? when i paste the code i just kicked out of the channel
<SvX> hey all u guys are using netscape?
<corky12> im looking for a php coder
<corky12> i cnt rly offer nefin im only 14
<MagnumJoe> I saw on tv where movies coming out, availbe on DVD and PHP
<DINO> what are those places called where parents put their children when they are at work.
<colin_> basement?
<DrPoole> i hate you americans
<luminerd> DrPoole, I have yet to find ANY good documentation on PHP
<forsaken_> use linux to run dreamweaver, more speed i find
<loufoque> Qube, how do you spell your name ?
<loufoque> you all just don't know about real programming, stay to your little php web apps.
<philo_> anyone know how to convert php to html?
<ar1> C# is the best program for php?
<Lazesharp> jome: whatever you do, don't say "look, it's either the cheap ass indian coders, or a professional swede"
<Lazesharp> i managed to rm -rf /etc/*
<frisco> ok and whats does 'foo' mean ?
<MichaelW> you people are truly misinformed about the spamming community
<_Randall> all I ever see ppl type about #php is man they are so rude, well I'm glad you ppl think you know every thing
<Halo_Wn> nothing is wrong with america
<aidan`>I hate you all
<lido``> is dreamweaver a good program to use when programming in PHP with OOP-style-programming
<GreatGRiM> this channel is a nightmare
<aidan`> fuckers
<bjm_> what's the downside to storing passwords, etc., in plaintext?
<Shai-Tan> jazzi: who cut your hair? #perl?
<ftzdomino> this *has* to be a php bug.
<horros> ftzdomino: It works fine for me.
<Solet> the phpmanual has nothing useful on gd
<KeX3> i'm on #php for gods sake, how many women do you expect me to bring home?
<ajn_sleep> I don't care about scope
<Dragnslcr> if (isset($_POST['buttonname'])) $somevar = "foo";
<Gross> is there a non-js way you think?
<ChrisC35> I put --with-gd in my php.ini
<c0ld> Anyone can tell me why my PHP sessions expire when users close their browser
<Katana`> you know what != means right ?
<enemysoft> sort of equal to
<Donkano> HMetal: I don't got no fucking manual, so don't hand me that crap! I came here for assistance and I expect it.
<kasia_> oh and... you're dummer than anyone in here.
<MagiKnigh> ok, is PHP the same as PHP-NUKE?
<monkey`> jerks
<skizzles> How can I tx a csv to a cvs with an ftp over ssh with async tcp/ip from an IP6 based gw running 2.6.1 with PHP
<PeshoKill> How big is a "socket"
<timpayne> u guys are not funny
<sombik> slasherx: you guys are a bunch of dumbshit nazi's ...
<leterip> how does http://192.168.1.3:6800/test/index.html look to you guys?
<zambaOSX> u guys scare me
<echeese> Are there any coder chicks out there, that are from ontario, canada and are 15-17 years old that wanna go out
<Satria> if i use array, my server will need to reboot repeatly
<schifo> well theres no bug in my code
<schifo> so it must be php's fault
<@apathy-> I could probably fit myself into a lady whale's lady bits
<Trattz> well if i cant get help, no need for this chan to exist
<carkeys> then i woke up just after i pissed myself at about 3:15
<digitok> which finger does a marriage/engagement ring go on a chick?
<taco_boy> left
<PS2-> i dont use a webserver i choose some IIS4
<yaragn> ... you are saying while ($num_rows == $num_rows)
<Zephyon> then why is it not working!
<yaragn> i have to say, as amazing as my spelling and gramer is, i don't feel the need to correct people
<Epitafph> it's pretty sad how little progress the computer industry has made in 30 years.
<ivgi> uhm, what do you mean as root?
<rawb> YOU WOULDNT BE SO MAD IF YOU USED PERL
<McKeNzIe-> well.. the cart is working now
<McKeNzIe-> but updating dont work, or deleting of items
<crayola> anyone here happen to know how i can get the previous day's date using a dos batch file?
<TecR0c> how do you change the font colour in php
<feti> Chriso: you don't know enough about PHP yet. ;)
<Chriso> I know its very similar to html
15:05 <@feti> wow, nobody changed my topic. that's amazing. i don't see a stupid human quote up there.

15:06 -!- Katana` changed the topic of #php to: «feti» wow, nobody changed my topic. that's amazing. i don't see a stupid human quote up there.
<sodeska> give me the url that yahoo goes to check everything
<sodeska> in other words, the index of the internet
<soul909> i know about arrays.. im a flash programmer
<jhood> im not dumb. i can do html
<jpickard1> php is open source? i was unaware of this
<sotto> anyone ever heard of PEAR?
<Broken_La> there is no way to use PHP mysql functions to write and read from a local file?! That's insane.
<SillyBee> bad2da: FUCK YOU AND THIS CHANNEL, you can shove it up your ass, you just made an enemy
<Keizer> Dragnslcr: To me, I think a string is the code between { and ]
<darklocas> heh, what manual ?
<butcher> $_POST does the opposite of $_GET right ?
<iamu> is uploading a file the same as uploading an image?
<kildal> hi.. i'm having a problem getting on internet..
<nx00> how can i get the length of an array in php, myArray.length does not work
<Hend-X> i don't maek mistakes
<lolvale> Where is Apache? And does Apache come with PHP?
<Da|GoTTi> i see the extensions in the usr/bin/perl
<jjh> the other kid was a complete jerk though and probably needed a bit of a stabbing.
<Didgerama> are you stupid ?
<@stupidnic> yes... yes I am
<r-c-e> hate it when you mispell a domain
<r-c-e> and then buy it
<r-c-e> i'm now the proud owner of namservers.net
<damell> oh u guys are uselss!
<Didgerama> are you paranoid about being called gay poole ?
<DrPoole> IM NOT GAY
<AlanerOk3> is there a way to get php to make a noise?
<zcro> rasmus lerdorf is a not to bright dude
<Alden> Any girls in here want to chat with 25/n/nz
<pvenkman> making variable variables makes the language unreliabe
<itzcraze> heh i dont use mysql i use phpmyadmin..
<digitaldj> <? if (then = else { print yes }; ?> <digitaldj> why not this work!!!
<nForbes> my internet connection is down
<Blue-Inf> useless fucks
<iManDB> ASP is better
<tows3r> \r\n is for end of line, what's for beginning of a line?
<socrate33> 1% off of 1000 dollars. is that 10 cents?
<mtgplanet> terminal?
<hackwrk> 1148 - The used command is not allowed with this MySQL version ::
<hackwrk> i don't get it
<ThaNerd> ThaNerd: ok, I'll do that
<Jipavony> Oh boy I'll go to PHPBUILDER you lame bunch
(max|work): this channel has the combined iq of a fucking eggplant
<torm> how doe sthe fucking php work with dreamweaver
<MaXxX_> GD has currently no GIF support. Will it read and process GIF images, however?
<apneaboy> god, you're a prick
<letterman> does php use javascript?
<MaxT> I don't use DNS; That's the whole reason I pointed it to my IP not a DNS server
<Keiz> I thought 0==1
<Oern> how do I declare a variable as octagonal?
<doomgaze-> microsoft employ's good programmers
<monkey-> Juso: eh.. IE doesn't disply anything. its the webserver
<frejo> microsoft could kill linux right now if the wanted to
<mofofo> shlt i hate stupid people
<KyleH> you absolute geeks!
<majik> does <br> take the align= attrib?
<`jaYPee> 1 % 10 = 0?
<Hendrix> 1 % 10 is 1
<`jaYPee> so is it 0?
<dogboy>well, the manual is wrong
<resize2fs> retards
<william> all the elite coders use frontpage
<buyaka> youd be surprise what cooking for a woman will get you
<mike_> STD's ?
<Shakkan> <-- gay
<Shakkan> fuck, wrong channel.
<Hendrix`> nicos, PHP is coded in C, not C++
<nicos> Hendrix_ no, C++ since we have classes.
<Chillax> time to take my scooter for a ride, brb
<everybody> damn strange masturbation euphemisms
<mundi> doesnt time start at 1972 ?
<hendrix> jpre: nah it doesn't, but i don't make mstakes :)
<|scott|> fuck php i give up
<`Sauron> Nail polish finally dried
<HopeSeekr> you guys are bizarre
<Shai-Tan>RocKo: what doctype are you using?
<RocKo>notepad
<socrazy> is xml better than UML?
<DocSaintl> what the doctype declaration for php?
<XB23> i stored loads of values in md5 now i wanna put them as plain text but they wont decrypt
<_cheerio> i hate you guys
<Jimbn> -rwxrwxrwx <--- how do i get it to be drwx..etc
<Ipnr2>thats a shame..php-nuke looks great to me
<moos> when fopening a file, how do i get the name of the file?
<bad2da> remember never to post passwords at pastebin.com though
<deusprogr> Oh shit! I forgot about that.
<YorT> fucken uneducated ediot
<Rivalz> wait theres a manual?
<Dragnslcr> I got put in a closet for an entire day in middle school because a
kid said I stabbed him with a pen
<lastfutur> I'm the owner of a 8" floppy!
<Ninwa> what's POF?
<Shai-Tan> http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pof
<Ninwa> I've never heard that
<Ninwa> Source: Shai-Tan
--- qubot gives channel operator status to Shai-Tan
<Ninwa> shit
--- Shai-Tan sets ban on *!*@d14-69-38-157.try.wideopenwest.com
<-- smeghead has kicked Ninwa from #php (Banned)
<ron_frown> I was going to go over and assault his ass
Dec 10 20:04:08 <sumsum> how do i make a table with 1 row on the left and 2 on the right?
<horros> Hot chicks? At Zend?
<horros> BAHAHAHAHA
<WhiteWolf> Next person to make a gramatical error looses at life.
<metateck> its jsut a 4 line script
<Shai-Tan> metateck: just /join #perl and paste, I will take a look at it
<metateck> thanks
--> metateck (metateck@x95-245.dhnet.ufl.edu) has joined #perl
<metateck>
$TheFile = "current.news";
<metateck> $FilePointer = fopen ($TheFile, "w");
<metateck> fwrite (current.news, "$update");
<wolverian> that has so many things wrong I can't even begin to describe

# and in #php
<Shadda> he did it
<goog|e> heh
<noc`> lol
<Shai-Tan> pwned
<Evo|utioN> can i get a converter to change music into html codes???
<Shadda> im chattin it up with this chick from brazil.
<Shadda> ....atleast, i think it's a chick
Nov 20 15:45:27 <Shadda> Blood! Blood! Blood!
Nov 21 15:47:09 <Shai-Tan> BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD...'
Nov 22 22:34:29 <grrbird> blood blood blood
<[|]> hey guys, what's that new php style to coding where you define vars
before using them
<Shadda> sleep? I meant alone with ken and a blow torch
<Shadda> Ooo!
<Shadda>speaking of which
<Shadda> brb
<puppetry> Microsoft IRC
<puppetry> mIRC
<Shadda> $pancakes = array($eggs,$flour,$butter);
<Shadda> array_shuffle($pancakes);
<Shai-Tan> array_flip($pancakes);
<Shai-Tan> array_slice($pancakes);
--- Derick sets ban on *!*t7DS@*.user.veloxzone.com.br
<-- Derick has kicked Marido_de from #php (go fuck yourself)
Feb 05 13:59:17 <InkLaptop> Shai_Tan: what advantage does Opera have over pgsql?
01:09 < omarx15> what's the difference between i386 and i686
<[TN]FBMachine> i got kicked out of barnes and noble once for moving all the
bibles into the fiction section
<carkeys> LordElph: in that interview i couldnt stop thinking about sucking your toes!
[Jan 31 12:59:26] <dgx> you guys are such fucking dorks
<apathy-> you're all bastards
Dec 10 20:48:06 <zeen`> bastards
<DrPoole> i hate you americans
<stan--> thanks jome, fuck you all, the rest.
<snappy1> you fucking pieces of shit
[Gibson] you guys are crazy
<bc\> this channel is what turns straight men into emo crybabies
Jan 14 09:22:21 <Cadesius> this chn was really NOT helpfull... : (
<Smoked1> you guys are no help. Ima go to google again
<metateck> this has to be the least helpful channel on irc
<GreatGRiM> this channel is a nightmare
<-- nKrypteD1 has quit (Leaving)
--> nKrypteD1 (~nKrypteD1@rdu74-173-135.nc.rr.com) has joined #php
<nKrypteD1> ugh that was the wrong button
* Hendrix` licks carkeys
<Hendrix`> err
<Hendrix`> wrong button
* Gary__ slaps apathy- around a bit with a rather large trout
--- arsemunch gives channel operator status to apathy-
<apathy-> Grin.
<Gary__> uh oh
<PS2-> i dont use a webserver i choose some IIS4
<ass> FUCK #PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK
#PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK
#PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK
#PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK
#PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK #PHP FUCK #
* Chriso nudges Shai-Tan
<-- Shai-Tan has kicked ass from #php (you came, I saw, I kicked ass)
<yaragn> ever seen that movie? The Matrix?
<yaragn> with those green lines of flying text?
<yaragn> *THAT'S* Perl
<uberfry> i thought xml was made by ms?
<RZA-Razor> <span class="font-weight:bold">
<RZA-Razor> I know css
<soul909> i know about arrays.. im a flash programmer
<jhood> im not dumb. i can do html
<Didgerama> I got given a little rubber dick that has a hole through, so you put it on the end of a straw and it looks icky :)
<Didgerama> I sucked dick all night long
<Didgerama> hm
<Didgerama> I really should have worded that better